Such Is Life

Perhaps it was unrealistic to expect that a motley collection of washed up AAAA filler, intercounty leaguers, and prospects too young to buy a beer in the US might triumph over what was essentially the Japanese all-star team and keep hopes alive over in Beijing. After losing 4 consecutive one-run games, Team Canada has now meaningless games left to play against Taiwan and the Aardvarks before calling it a day.

If the tournament was a disappointment for the Canadians, it's one that'll soon be forgotten: the World Baseball Classic next spring will provide an opportunity for redemption (though not for some of the lesser lights because Russ Martin, Rich Harden, Justin Morneau, et al are going to steal your jobs, but still).

Here in this particular Blue Jays corner of the interweb some felt the need to mock Team Canada, others cheered it on with reckless abandon, and then there were those like me who found it to be at least as watchable as the Little League World Series. And then Ed Willes wonders why there's no room for it during a cavalcade of mostly hobby sports, but I digress.

When it comes to hockey, I can admit to being a fan of the Leafs rather than the game per se and I can fully understand why some Jays fans don't have a broader interest in more exotic, non-MLB locales where the sport is played. Fair enough.

When it comes to baseball, though, I'm all in. It was worth it staying up late a few times for Team Canada to see a few interesting players in action that I otherwise wouldn't have had the chance to watch. And when it comes to countries, I generally think Canada is pretty ok. Compared to other countries I've lived in or know well, it's less murdersome than the United States, less cynical and gloomy than the UK, and far less likely to be simultaneously invaded by Germany and Russia than Poland.

On that note, here's a sop to Canadian baseball nationalism in the form of a tour d'horizon of some young Canuckers who had minor league success this year. In no particular order and with no attempt at comprehensiveness:

Nick Weglarz (OF, Indians; Stevensville, ON): Weglarz served notice that he's a Canuck to watch by socking a pair of dingers against Cuba and then by doing some rage-induced dugout renos in yesterday's loss against Japan. In his age 20 season for Cleveland's A+ affiliate, the 3rd rounder from 2005 hit .273/.400/.473/.840 with 10 HR through 99 games before being released for his Olympic obligation. Baseball America says he's Cleveland's 6th best prospect and will probably be manning left field in whatever they're calling Jacob's Field in 2011.

Mike Saunders (OF, Mariners, Victoria, BC): I'd never heard of Saunders before the Olympics and I like his game after what I saw of him. An 11th round pick from 2004, He's tall, lanky, runs relatively well, has good strike zone discipline and doubles power. The 21-year-old hit .290/.375/.484/.859 in 67 AA games this year, but scuffled a bit in a short stint at AAA (.709 OPS in 23 games) before heading off to Beijing. BA says the 6th best Mariners prospect and 2nd best minor league OF.

Phillipe Aumont (LHP, Mariners; Gatineau, QC): This tall, hard-throwing 19-year-old southpaw has had a very successful pro debut in A ball for the Mariners. Aumont, the 11th overall pick in last year's draft, has done pretty much everything right in split duties between the rotation and the bully: walks and hits per 9 are nice and low, while he's been K-ing about a batter an inning. BA says he's the M's top minor league hurler and 2nd best overall prospect. Take note also that he doesn't give a shit about the Habs despite being a Quebecker and has expressed a desire to someday play for the Jays (according to Wikipedia). Eh, eh?

RJ Swindle (LHP, Phillies; Vancouver, BC): Swindle, 24, got a brief taste with the Phillies this summer before Olympic duties took him overseas. His career minor league numbers are crazy: 1.61 BB/9, 9.05 K/9, 7.83 H/9, 0.26 HR/9, 1.05 WHIP. I'm impressed. He was a 14th round pick by the Bosox in 2004, dominated out of the bully for their A- affiliate, then got unceremoniously dumped at the end of the year. Spent two years doing quite well in independent ball before getting a brief sniff from the Yankees, who too dumped him at the end of 2006... after he put up a 0.61 ERA in 44 IP in A ball? What gives here?

I'm guessing the Bosox and Yankees were put off by the way he constantly changed arm angles and his 55-mph euphus curveball, but you can't ignore the numbers. Swindle dominated AAA at Lehigh Valley this year and has found himself the odd man out of a Phillies bullpen that's been surprisingly sturdy this year. Expect to see him back in the bigs in September.

Jimmy Van Ostrand (1B/OF, Astros; Vancouver, BC): Not to be confused with Dr Van Nordstram, Van Ostrand was a very late pick (29th round) back in 2006 who put up a very solid A line of .306/.373/.453/.826, albeit at the ripe old age of 23. He got the call to AA, where he probably starts 2009, just before the Olympics.

David Davidson (LHP, Pirates; Richmond Hill): A 24-year-old AA lefty reliever who's K'd about a batter an inning (and walked around 4.5/9 IP) through his minor league career. He burnt a hole in the sun during a dynamite 2006 campaign at age 22, but has regressed a bit since then. Might still earn himself a reputation as the Tom Thomson of somebody's bullpen someday.

Honourable mention...

Scott Campbell (2B, Jays; Auckland, NZ): He's 1/4 Canadian (what' s the threshold for WBC eligibility?), he's been tearing AA pitching a new one this year, and JP compares him to Chase Utley. Enough said.

And some recent high school grads just starting their pro careers: Michael Crouse, Stosh Wawrzasek, and Brad Furdal.

Good luck, all.

-- Johnny Was

Live Blog! Tonite!

Just a friendly reminder that I'll be live-blogging tonight's Olympic baseball matchup between the masculine Canadians and our best friends/main enemies from the US of America starting at around 10:30-ish from the Silver Fox Lounge that is my living room. All are welcome and the libations will be flowing at break-neck speed.

If you happened to miss it early this morning, the Canuckers fell 1-0 to the Good Koreans, who got a masterful complete game shutout from southpaw starter Hyunjin Ryu/Ryu Hyun-Jin and a solo homerun from second baseman Keunwoo Jeong. Seeing as Canada pretty much only has left-handed hitters, the opposition is having a field day running out lefty starters, though Ryu does have quite an impressive pedigree in the Korean League. Canada did have plenty of chances to score--including a man on third in the 9th--but hit worse with RISP than the Jays of April/May.

Though Team Canada aquitted itself well against the highly touted Cubans yesterday, it likely needs to win 3 of its next 4 to advance to the next round, which means taking at least one against the US or Japan. (The other two games are against Taiwan and Neederlands). A daunting task, indeed.

-- Johnny Was

Olympic Baseball Update: Brace Yourselves For The Shit Storm

Team Canada fell 7-6 to the Cubans in an exciting, dinger-filled see-saw affair this morning that will produce a torrent of criticism of JP Ricciardi from local haters Richard Griffin, Bob Elliot and Bob McCown because, sad to say it, this was a game the Canadians might have won had they trotted Scott Richmond out as originally planned.

(A bit of a warning, the box scores at CBC are pretty shitty. There's no record of who had extra base hits, walked, stole bases, errors, etc., not to mention who scored the runs. BUT the game recap article goes into great depth if you're not averse to actually reading instead of looking at numbers. If you want a proper box score, go to the official site.)

Canada started Brooks McNiven, a 27-year-old career minor leaguer with shitty peripherals out of Terrace, BC who was originally selected by Gord Ash in the very late rounds of the 1999 amateur draft, and he gave up two ER in 2 IP of work. He was followed by Jon Lockwood, a 26-year-old Torontonian who never advanced beyond A+ ball and now appears to be out of the game professionally, and he gave up 3 ER through 3. Former major leaguer Chris Reitsma gave up one earned in his inning of work, but otherwise the bullpen was solid.

It's pretty hard to argue that Richmond wouldn't have put up a much stronger effort than the 5 IP cobbled together from McNiven and Lockwood, though I mention this without malice. There's no question that a big league team has to put its own interests, not to mention use of players that it's paying, above those of a national team, even if you're talking about the only ML club in the country. I'm still kind of disappointed about the way that all played out, but I won't shit on JP for it. Still, don't expect Team Canada Manager Terry Puhl to do JP any favours by smuggling Cuban shortstop Eduardo Paret out of the country in a duffle bag at the conclusion of the tournament.

On the offensive side, promising Indians prospect Nick Weglarz of Stevensville, ON stole the show, socking a pair of dingers and going 4 for 4 with 3 runs and 3 RBI. Mariners farmhand Mike Saunders of Victoria, who homered in Canada's opener against China, launched another 2-run dinger. Stubby Clapp, who actually did get a 25-AB cup of coffee with the Cards in 2001, got a pair of hits and drew a walk, while my personal favourite Londoner (after Rachel McAdams) Adam Stern went 0 for 5 out of the leadoff spot.

Elsewhere, the US shut the Neederlanders out 7-0, China surprisingly held Korea to a 0-0 tie through 6 when the game was called due to rain, and Japan took it to Taiwan 6-1.

Canada continues onward and upward with two games tomorrow (EST), Korea (6 a.m.) in the morning and USA (10:30 p.m.) in the evening. Full sched here, though mind the 12-hour time difference.

Jeff Blair has kind of been forgotten since he went over to Red China a few weeks back, but he did sneak in time for a (long) commentary piece on baseball at the Olypmics the other day. Short version, he doesn't think it's ever coming back because (Eurotrash) IOC members don't appreciate the game and the MLB has nothing to gain financially by releasing players for the Olympics, especially when it has it's own potential money-maker in the World Baseball Classic.

You can respond to this either one of two ways. A) I never really cared about Olympic baseball, so I'm going to continue to ignore it; or B) This is the last crack, I'm going to start following Team Canada now even though I had little or no interest in the past. Since a good portion of my shit is in boxes and I've got precious few diversions to keep me occupied until the move at the end of the month, I'm going to go with B. If you're not feeling it I've got absolutely nothing against you or your point of view.

Live blog tomorrow night against Team USA, all are welcome to chug PBRs, swear, and carry on in an inappropriate manner.

JAYS SHIT:

* Our highly esteemed colleagues over at The Mockingbird and Ghostrunner on First have joined us on the Dave Purcey Express. Welcome aboard fellas, there's room for everyone! If there is one Eternal Truth about Big D, it's that the Detroit Tigers cannot put bat on ball when he's on the mound. Through 10.1 innings over 2 starts they've only managed 4 hits against him (drawing 10 walks which I will now conveniently overlook) and scored only 1 run. Give 'em shit, buddy!

Purcey still needs a nickname and I'm really unsatisfied with "Bigfoot" as suggested at Batter's Box the other day. Did you know that Dave Winfield's (6' 6") nickname when he played in Mexico was "El Gigante Negro"? I don't speak Spanish, but I'm going to guess that means "the big negro" anyway. "Big Whitey" for Purcey? No? Something better?

* In unsurprising news, Scott Downs "is likely headed to the disabled list after spraining his ankle on Wednesday night" according to Rotoworld.

* MLB to introduce instant replay at the end of August? Why not 5 years ago?

-- Johnny Was

Oh Canada! Misplaced Drunken Nationalism Finds A New Hero

It went a little bit off the rails there last night, but I still think that was my best post ever even if few people actually read it in full. If socio-economic circumstances, boredom, a creepy Stubby Clapp obsession, or insomnia have similarly inspired you to watch some Team Canada baseball action from Beijing, here's what's coming up this week.

It's pretty much all 6 a.m. or 10:30 p.m. EST starts--CAUTION: everything listed here is Beijing time, which is exactly 12 hours ahead of Toronto--and games aren't moving along any faster than a typical MLB match up despite the lack of enforced commerical breaks. I would strongly suggest watching the commentator/graphic-free online feed at cbc.ca/olympics over going with the main network because it won't cut away for random events you probably have no interest in watching. The picture quality is as good as a mlb.tv broadcast and the mic picks up pretty much everything on the field sound-wise, which is kind of cool.

Former replacment player/Sportsnet Jays analyst Warren Sawkiw and veteran anchorman Jim Van Horne do the commentary when the broadcast is on the main network. Sawkiw was panned for his radio work during a brief stint as Jerry Howarth's broadcast partner and Van Horne is probably best known for his impressive mustache, but they're no more annoying than Jamie Campbell and Pat Tabler. Why the CBC doesn't insert commentary/graphics into the online feed when they've already got a team on the ground producing the TV broadcast is a bit odd, but I'll take what I can get.

Next up for Team Canada is Cuba at 6 a.m. on Thursday. The Cubans have won gold at the last three Olympics and are probably more into international baseball than any other country on earth, so I expect they're out to prove something seeing as it's coming off the docket for London 2012. The Cubans kind of slapped Japanese phenom Yu Darvish around a bit this morning, beating the Nipponese side 4-2. And Kenny Williams doesn't look all that bad for signing former Cuban homerun king Alexei Ramirez, now does he? These dudes are for real. Scott Richmond would've got the start for this one, so expect another dose of shitting on JP if Canada loses by a small margin. This should be a good'un for a bunch of reasons

It's another 6 a.m. start for Canada against Good Korea on Friday. The Koreans came back to score 2 in the 9th to beat Team USA 8-7 this morning in what must've been an exciting game. Haven't heard of any of the American hurlers, so it's possible the Yanks underestimated the opposition. From what I recall of the WBC in 2006 the Koreans don't have any conventional relivers, all Mark Eichorn-esque submariners. Cool! Another lost art, like the knuckleball.

Finally, a night game. Double dip Friday as Canada takes on the Americans at 10:30 p.m., which ironically is a night game followed by an (early) morning game. Did that just totally blow your mind? If there's any interest, I'm totally up for live-blogging this one, too. The American side features some interesting prospects like world-destroyer Matt Laporta and Jason Donald, the Phillies AA shortstop I was hoping JP would trade AJ Burnett for...

Sunday is an off-day.

JAYS SHIT:

The Tigers show us that there's more than one way to find yourself sniffing .500. Tell me a rickety, unreliable bullpen headed up by the Ghost of Todd Jones isn't just as frustrating as a lineup that's incapable of socking dingers? At least the Jays excel at pitching and defense, whereas our erstwhile enemies in Motown might score runs but have to come to terms with a GM who mortgaged the future by trading for a bunch of aging sluggers and Dontrelle Willis. The future is no brighter on the other side of the St. Clair River.

More awesomeness. One of my poolies (the only Tiger fan in the league) sends this dispatch from Detroit after catching yesterday's game at Comerica:

FYI: The wife and I were in a Detroit shopping mall yesterday at lunch, and spotted AJ Burnett. He was being dragged around by his wife/gf. The tats on his glove arm confirmed it. Apparently his gameday routine includes eating junkfood in mall food courts.

I thought about asking him for his autograph... but then remembered that I'm not 13.

Townz

Is anyone surprised by that?

-- Johnny Was

Canada-China Olympic Preliminary

Spent the day painting and repairing shit around this apartment I've lived in for the past two years before we move out at the end of the month. There's no way the rental office doesn't notice the giant hole in the wall I shoddily patched over, but it was my first time working with plaster and I'm hoping I can get away with my indiscretion without losing hundreds of dollars in security deposit money.

So anyway, this is what it's like being an unemployed grad student, staying up late to get drunk alone off home-made wine and write a live blog no one will read live for a sporting event very few of you care about. I was talking to my brother on MSN about the game earlier tonight but he lost interest and stopped replying, so I'm reducing to doing this instead.

Welcome to my world.

I've been whinging quite a bit about the Jays of late, so I'm going to attempt to give you something enjoyable and positive to read about the Scott Richmond-less Team Canada. It's hard to figure out who's who with no commentary, but I'll do my best. I was hoping to see some of Brett Lawire, the 16th overall pick by the Brewers in the June amateur draft, but he's not in the starting lineup. Try to contain your disappointment.

11:29 - So this is how Chinamen design a ball park? This place is colder than a Klondike Bar. I'd rather watch intercounty league teams go at it in Stratford than see a game here. When I was on a prolonged sojurn in Beijing with the Mrs. two summers ago I had her make some calls for me in the hopes of catching a CBL game or two to provide a break from the intense heat and over-crowding (figuring that a ball game in China is the last place you'd find too many people).

The only problem was that when we got through to the club they had no idea when or where their next game would be played and were somewhat baffled that anyone actually wanted to come see them play. When I asked about buying a t-shirt or jersey the secretary responded with total incomprehension.

11:30 - I'm watching the CBC feed online because the main network is carrying swimming and gymnastics even though Canada has no chance of winning either event. Here on the baseball feed there's no commentary, just park sounds, and it's absolutely serene. It's pure baseball, players chatting to each other, fists smacking gloves, the crack of the bat, clapping, the PA. No inane chatter from Darren Fletcher about hot dogs, no Jamie Campbell losing his shit when the other team has a late-game rally, not even Wilner updating out-of-town scores from the Fan HQ.

This is blissfull.

11:35 - London content! Adam Stern batting leadoff, flies out. Still, more Adam Stern to come.

11:37 - Number 11, let's assume that was Stubby Clapp (confirmed later by the defensive graphic), flies out deep to left where Wang Chao makes a nice little snow cone catch. Wang's got some faux Oakley's on and wears them like someone who aspires to play in the bigs.

11:38 - Michael Saunders, an outfielder in the Mariner's system who had a nifty little season at AA, is one lanky motherfucker who looks like he's got pop. He launches another routine fly right to the centre fielder. The Canuckers go three up, three down, but put three balls in the air. Chinese starter Bo Tao could be in for grief.

11:40 - Chris Begg (spent last year at the Giants AAA affiliate posting atrocious peripherals but winning 12 games nonetheless) gets the start for Team Canada, gives up a leadoff single but induces an inning ending double play ball from China's 3-hitter Feng Fei. I missed what happened to the 2-hitter pouring some wine...

11:48 -Some guy who looks like Corey Koskie leads off the second with a grounder right to the first baseman. Nick Weglarz a promising 20-year-old OF in the Indians system, singles to right, then Jimmy Vanostrand hits into an inning-ending double play... Bo Tao just got his last three hitters to put the ball on the ground, so maybe there's more to his game than I first thought.

11:54 - Wang Wei leads off the Chinese second and grounds out weakly to second. Zhang Yufeng punches a single over Stubby Clapp's head to right, Li Lei follows up with one more of the same. Chinese rally! The crowd is chanting "Wang Chao", alternating between dames and dudes. It's kind of eerie and cool, who knows where they came up with this because it's not part of anyone else's baseball culture. Wang chases some bad breaking shit down and away, striking out to end the threat.

12:01 - What's the square root of Matt Rogelstad, Chris Robinson, Emmanuel Garcia? Three up, three down. We're once through the order and I can recall only one, maybe two, righty bats in the Canadian lineup against the lefty starter. Ok, I get it, everyone here plays baseball under duress while day-dreaming of playing in the OHL.

12:07 - Just so you know, every hitter on both teams uses double flap-helmets just like the ones you used to wear in little league. I wonder if they have one helmet per player or share them? We'll find out if someone calls timeout before their at bat with the bases loaded to switch that tight 4th helmet no one wants to wear with one of the bigger ones worn by a baserunner.

The Chinese go down quicker than a French hooker in their half of the 3rd.

12:12 - Adam Stern! Canada has gone three innings without scoring against a team from a country where no one actually plays baseball. One of the stern-looking Asian umps growls at the the mincing Olympic mascots to get the fuck away from the field. Stern shows bunt, but pulls it back, just messing with you... And again with the bunt... I know you're fast Adam, but come on here, let's "turn it loose" as Rance Mulliniks would say. Hey hey! Stern ends up flying out to second base, manager Terry Puhl looks unimpressed with his limp-dicked offense.

Some "Stubby" chants from die-hard Canada fans, random crowd exhortations of the sort you'd hear in little league. "Commmmeeeee Onnnnn! Swwwwiiiiiing!" Ah, why didn't I think of that? And Stubby punches a single up the middle.

The Chinese starter Bo thinks Stubby is going and throws over frequently. Paid too much attention to the baserunner and gave up a single to Saunders. And Bo's clearly rattled... Oh, snap! Corey Koskie lookalike (I later find out it's Scott Thorman of Cambridge, Ontario, a first baseman in the Braves system who somehow got almost 300 Brad Wilkerson-esque ABs last year) smacks a 3-run homerun to deep right. Canada up 3-0!

12:28 - The network switches over to baseball and I see from a CBC graphic that Warren Sawkiw and Jim Van Horne are doing the commentary. I'll stick with the online feed. No, I can't... It was nice being at peace with my thoughts for three innings but I'm starting to get lonely.

Selina has joined me in the living room and informs me that the crowd is chanting "Go Chinese Team!" They do that at every sporting event, especially volleyball, she tells me. Was I supposed to talk to her about something? Perhaps, but I continue blogging...

A Chinese player doubles to left to lead off the bottom of the fourth, but Wang Wei K's, next dude grounds out weakly to the pitcher advancing the runner to third with two outs, then Begg K's a goateed Chinaman to work his way his way out of the inning.

If you were wondering why the Chinese kind of suck ass at baseball compared to the Japanese, Koreans and Taiwainese, it's because Chairman Mao banned baseball as a decadent American influence in 1959. Baseball certainly wasn't worth a trip to the gulag, so memories of Babe Ruth barn-storming in Shanghai in the '30s had almost all been forgotten by the time the ban was lifted in 1975, a year before Mao's death. Maybe Nixon softened him up? In any event, baseball in China had gone from niche sport than pulled in a few curious locals in its heyday to a diversion roughly on par with chess boxing in terms of fan support today... MLB has spent some serious cash developing baseball academies in China and the Yankees made bit of a PR splash by signing a pair of Chinese players in 2007, but the sport doesn't yet have much cache as far as the average Chinese sports fan is concerned.

12:40 - Canada puts a pair of men on base and this game that had been ripping right along faster than I can type grinds to a halt. Liu Kai warming in the bullpen and it looks like the Chinese coach is going to call the Politburo to ask permission to make a pitching change.

Stern back up, two on, none out. Shows fucking bunt again, gay! "Turn it loose", Adam! You're playing China, one of your biggest fans is watching this in the wee hours of the morning and wants to see a big hit. The goateed Chinese third baseman, playing shallow to defend against the bunt, makes a crazy back hand on the ground ball down the line and stumbles over the bag for the force out. Nice play, really nice play, and he's laughing himself silly.

12:44 - Chinese manager Jim Lefebvre comes out to make the pitching change. Bo cruised through the early going and leaves having surrendered 3 ER in 3.1 IP with runners on second and third and only one out.

12:46 - Liu (Yankees prospect) is a tall 20-year-old lefty with a good fastball and he's raw... just fired a pickoff throw to second into centrefield, would've pegged a day-dreaming Manny Garcia if he'd hit the shortstop. Rob Ducey is going to tear a strip off Garcia for that Rios-esque brain fart, but a run scores on the error. Clapp walks and the bases are loaded, this is where you pile it on and make the Chinese wish they'd never taken up the sport...

The Chinese are warming a third lefty, Cheng Yuji (spelling?)...

Saunders K's on some bad, bad heat, and Thorman's back up again, Sawkiw thinks he needs a good Olympics to get his way back to the bigs. I'm guessing that mastering AAA pitching might be a surer ticket, but I'm not a member of the paid media. Liu fires a wild pitch about 6 feet off the plate and another run comes in to score. The wheels are coming off here for China. And then he beans Thorman. Retribution? No, this kid just can't throw strikes and he's probably nervous as shit playing in front of a packed house of 12000, which is roughly 11990 more than he's ever played in front of before.

12:55 - Lefebvre yanks Liu, hopefully for someone who can throw strikes. The new pitcher gets a fly out to end the inning, Canada up 5-0.

Van Horne mentions that if one team is leading by 10 the game can be called after 7 innings. Only the Texas Rangers would protest that rule and I have been given some hope of getting to bed before I feel the need to open a third bottom of wine.

1:01 - The main network cuts away from the game for a news update about the lip-synching scandal from the opening ceremonies. This is worse than 10 consecutive autotrader.ca ads; I'd be more shocked if the CCP hadn't chosen to lip-synch.

Begg puts 'em away, three up, three down. And we head to the sixth.

1:07 - The main network isn't going back to the ballgame, even though it's after one a.m. and only drunks and insomniacs are still watching. Every Team Canada booster who lost their shit at JP for calling up Scott Richmond, take fucking note. The main TV network in this country can only bear to show 40 minutes of a baseball game, that's where it stands on the list of national priorities. After going through the run down of every competition we lost pathetically, perhaps they'll switch back to a game Canada is actually winning.

1:10 - Adam Stern! Man on first, none out. Stern walks, Van Horne and Sawkiw have no idea what position he plays (CF), guessing that he's a shortstop. Nice try, fuckers. I'm more lucid and knowledgable after two bottles of wine and a day of painting in a poorly ventilated bathroom.

Stubby Clapp hates the mercy rule, choosing to end the inning by flying out pathetically even if it means running the risk of extending this game beyond 7 innings.

11:15 - Sawkiw and Van Horne are jawing about the future of Olympic baseball, speculating that it will return in 2016 if either Chicago or Tokyo puts up a winning bid. Baseball was dropped for London in 2012 because Eurotrash IOC members couldn't accept that MLB wouldn't release its best players for the Olympics. Sure, tell the Yankees they don't need Jeter and Rodriguez for 3 weeks to compete in an amateur tournament.

Begg gets 'em three up, three down again, and we've got to go back to Ian Hanomansing for another inane update about nothing anyone cares about.

1:24 - Thorman gets beaned again, this time by Chen Yunji, and it looked deliberate. Weglarz K's, but Thorman steals second. That's just a "fuck you for beaning me", but I'm wishing they could hurry up and score 10 so I can go to bed and hopefully not get yelled at for my stealth drinking in the living room.

Thorman scores on the single, but whoever hit it got greedy going for second and got thrown out. That's how you kill a rally.

1:32 - Some Chinese guy doubles to right and the Chinese crowd is back in it... and then the silence is deafening. Begg is so Josh Towers-esque that I'm expecting the Chinese to score at least one off him, but they keep chasing bad, bad breaking shit out of the zone with two strikes. We all have our weaknesses I guess.

1:34 - The CBC main network is playing some "women's" beach volleyball match between Brazil-Australia instead of switching back to the ball game. I can't imagine how that's more relevant to Canadian viewers than a game that Canada is playing in in a sport they're actually kind of good at. I would check those Aussie dames for cocks because they just don't look right...

1:40 - China has runners on first and third with one out (?) and Canada has made a pitching change. Number 22, side-armer. Chinese fans are trying to go crazy with "Chiiii-na!" chants and I'm kind of hoping they put one across.

I spent a couple of years studying in Britain in the early 2000s and got into international rugby, Six Nations, World Cup, etc.. I remember watching a game back in 2002 when England ran up the score against Romania, a newcomer to the sport, something like 108-0. After the game the Romanian coach said that no kids in his country would ever want to play the game after such a humiliation.

Engerlund!

6-0 Canada after 6 complete.

1:45 - I'm busting for a piss and the one bathroom here in this 2-bedroom apartment is occupied for the long term... Will I let one fly off the balcony? I won't have to see these people after the end of the month...

1:48 - I rocked that piss and it's up to you to guess where.

Canada has a runner on second, and it looks like Saunders is up.

1:51 - Another Chinese powwow on the mound, fucking hell do these guys take their sweet time.

I'm kind of seeing what Terry Puhl was saying about this team needing to score runs. If you can't mercy some Chinese scrubs, fear Cuba. Before I finish writing that the Chinese centrefielder takes a bad route on a shallow fly off the bat of ADAM STERN! That's a triple, biatches, and Canada needs 3 more for the mercy. So much as I can surmise there's a man on third with one out? It's hard to tell without commentory or any sort of graphics. And I'm more than a little bit drunk.

1:58 - Li Weiliang is the new Chinese pitcher, indistinguishable from the last three in stuff, form or physical appearance. I hear jostling from the bedroom and should probably join the Mrs, but I'm going to push this as long as I can. I've had a good run...

2:01 - Fuck yeah, Mike Saunders takes Li deep to right!?! Was there anyone on base at that point? It's impossible to tell with this bare bones online production. I don't even know what the score is, but we're that much closer to the mercy rule.

The inning ends, fuck yeah, Canada up 10-0. Stop those railroad-builders here and now and I get to go to bed now with minimal marital strife. Do me this one solid Team Canada.

2:04 - Just got an earful, this ends here and now. Let's assume Canada won 10-0.

-- Johnny Was

Deadline Drama

Nothing to report Blue Jays-wise so far in the final hours before the deadline, so it's going to be a long, lonely 4000-calorie breakfast for Mr Gregg Zaun this a.m. as he sweats out what might be his last day in Toronto.

The Oracle aptly pointed out in his blog yesterday that those two consecutive losses to the Rays that but the Jays squarely back at .500 might be enough to induce JP to reconsider the untouchable label he's put on AJ Burnett. But, as you're no doubt aware, JP has yet to pull off a single major deadline in his entire time in the captain's chair, though he's an expert at doing the minor ones that clear off superfluous veterans to cut costs. I'm figuring nothing big gets done, though Eckstein should get moved--because there's more cash saved there than by dumping Zaun and Eck is most clearly redundant--if anyone is willing to take him.

The Yankees pulled off the big deal of the day yesterday afternoon by acquiring Pudge Rodriguez from the Tigers to fill the hole vacated by Jorge Posada, who's off for season-ending surgery, for nothing more than the extremely-tight-pants-wearing reliever Kyle Farnsworth. Farnsworth is a shit-baller plain and simple whatever his recent numbers might tell you, so the Yankees really gave up nothing of long-term value.

Pudge hates walking more than the terrorists hate our freedom, but he's still a better than average hitting catcher and brings a reputation as a strong (if no longer elite) defender. And a bonus did-you-know: should he stay healthy and average about 140 hits over each of the next 3 seasons, Pudge will be the first catcher to record 3000 hits. He's a slam dunk Hall of Famer, fellas.

I'm highly skeptical that this last-minute three-way deal that would send Jason Bay to the Bosox, Manny Ramirez to the Marlins and a bunch of prospects to the Pirates gets done. It's been left too late in the day and all parties are astute bargainers with no real need to get something wrapped up quickly/sloppily or suffer the consequences. It would be a real gut shot seeing one of my favourite players in the game patrolling left field at Fenway, but should something happen here at least we know that Manny is assuredly a free agent at the end of the year as that $20 million club option gets ripped up by the cheapo Marlins. Lemons into lemonade...

One of the more curious acquisitions was the Chisox trade for Ken Griffey Jr. that's being finalized as we speak. Paul Konerko has been hurt or playing hurt and bringing Griffey on board means Nick Swisher can play first with Jr. taking over in centre, but the Chisox have the 4th best offense in the AL and probably could've made due with a cheaper glove man who can play proper defense. And it's not like Griffey's been much with stick this year either despite playing in one of the best hitter's park in the game. Go figure.

Jeff Blair is a bit grumpy about the timing of the Jays call-up of Canucker Scott Richmond, which presumably dashes Canada's hopes of baseball gold (ok, more likely a long shot run at bronze) at the Olympics.

Olympic baseball? I can't recall ever having found a game on television in past years; do Asian baseball countries like Japan and South Korea even release their best players for the tournament? While it would be thrilling to pitch in front of a few hundred confused Chinamen in Beijing later next month, baseball has never had a proper international "best on best" tournament that pretty much every other sport on earth does. The World Baseball Classic has attempted to fill that void, but has made too many compromises to really satisfy the hunger of fans who know how a World Cup is really supposed to work. That's not JP's fault and it's got nothing to do with Scott Richmond, so there's no need to get your panties in a bunch.

And seriously, if you're so myopic that you think anything to do with the Canadian contingent is one of the more intriguing story lines of an Olympics set in the heart of a heinous communist dictatorship engaged in cultural genocide against its long-suffering Tibetan and Uigher populations, then I really don't know what to say to you. No, I'd say something really biting and witty, like donate your loonie to RBC to support Canada's Olympic athletes and feel good about your contribution to international goodwill and harmony, you're part of the solution!

Sorry to get a bit off topic there... check back in later this afternoon for a recap of the day's (in)action.

-- Johnny Was

The Roundup

The other day I libelously fabricated a list of 19 players from the 1998 Blue Jays who I believed to have been fellow steroid users with testicularly-challenged slugger turned club house rat Jose Canseco. And ironically, Will brought this post from Baseball Digest Daily to people's attention yesterday:

Recordnet.com reports this morning that former Toronto Blue Jays infielder Ed Sprague has admitted to using many performance-enhancing drugs in his playing days, before all this was illegal:

Ed Sprague, now in his fifth season as baseball coach at University of the Pacific, said he used amphetamines and Androstenedione and once hit a home run with a corked bat. When asked directly about steroids, Sprague said he couldn't condemn all steroid users in baseball because he used Andro, which was banned under the Anabolic Steroid Control Act of 2004, and amphetamines, a form of speed known in baseball as "greenies."

"Well, amphetamines are illegal now, too, and I took those, so am I going to stand on one side and not the other side?" Sprague said. "I took Andro, and they banned that. So, am I the cleanest guy? No, but I tried to be as strong and as healthy as I could as long as I could for my career."

That's right, Sprague. I was on to you, you fuck. You sir, were not fit to hold Kelly Gruber's jock strap.

Zwolinski at the Star does some alternative history referring to Sprague as a "Glory Jay" and "hero", when in fact he was actually quite a shitty hitter (a career 90 OPS+ doesn't lie) until he started 'roiding it up and hit 36 home runs in 1996. Yes, fine, he did hit a timely home run in the 1992 World Series, but I think it's a stretch to consider him a popular player.

Bring up Sprague's name to any 30+ Canadian and the first thing you'll hear is "Hey, isn't he that guy who was married to that American synchronized swimmer who fradulently won a gold medal in the 1992 Olypmics when one of the judges accidentally entered the wrong score into his voting machine and couldn't fix it, robbing her Canadian rival of the gold medal she deserved? And didn't Cindy Sprague refuse to do the right thing and swap medals when she heard what had happened after the competition?" That's exactly what they'd say, word for word.

And watch for my next list, which will reveal every member on the 1984 Jays who had communist sympathies. Sneak peek: they all had brown skin and surnames that ended in "Z" or "O".

Since I'm throwing out wild accusations Jose Canseco-style, would you be interested in knowing how I know that Richard Griffin got really baked yesterday? Glad you asked. It's because he wrote this piece praising the Jays organization for turning its image around and making TO a desirable place to play. Or maybe he just had Cathal Kelly ghost write one for him, we shall never know.

I don't really want to say anything about last night's game (WTF? We don't pound lefties anymore? I'm so calling Wilner and demanding we get Reed Johnson back!). Actually, AM 980 cut away from JaysTalk before it got started to pick up a random west coast hockey playoff game, so I really have no idea what the toothless morons of Jays fandom had to complain about last night or how Wilner pilloried every one of their idiotic little statements. It's probably for the best, though, because there was little good beyond Shaun Marcum.

(Wilner blogs that the Jays have a bad case of badly-needing-Rolen-and-the-Beej-itis, and I concur with that diagnosis).

Jesse Carlson is pretty weird-looking, but I won't tease him about it. I'm kind of rooting for the little guy, who got his first call to the bigs at age 27 and cried when he heard the news. It's like how I cried when I got admitted into the Ph.D program at whatever university I go to and realized I'd have to spend the next 5-7 years of my life reading books about American views of the Franco-Prussian War of 1870 and suchlike.

I do, however, need to address the fact that I prediced that we'd take 2 of 3 handily from the A's, who are doing a pretty damn fine imitation of a contender for a club that's supposed to be rebuilding. That sort of boastfullness can only bring bad mojo down on one's head, and I won't do it ever again. Promise!

Heading down to the "I tell you what" state, we've got these matchups over the next three days:

Litsch- Padilla
Halladay-Luis Mendoza (who?)
Burnett-Jennings

It should be interesting to see what Burnett looks like on Sunday, but when I say "interesting" I really mean "terrifying."

Also, there's a new issue of "Behind the Dish" out. Actually, I'm a couple of days late on this (check with them on Tuesdays), but I'd highly recommend you check it out if you're interested in the Jays system.

Re: drunken brawling in the 500s... James Christie at the Globe takes a look at the weird relationship between Toronto sports teams and their fans, who are chided for either being to quiet (most of the time) or too rowdy (new development). Jeez, guys, make up your mind.

ELSEWHERE:

* Stern-looking Bosox beard-wearer Mike Lowell is headed to the DL with a sprained thumb and will have his roster spot temporarily filled by Jed Lowrie of AAA Paw-tuck-it. You may recall Lowrie from the Johan Santana trade rumour derby of the past offseason. He's the guy who's going to make Julio Lugo Coco Crisp's $12 mil benchwarmer buddy sometime around the middle of next year. For all the scorn that's heaped on JP for the revolving door at shortstop during his tenure with the Jays, many forget that the Bosox haven't exactly had stability at the position, either. The difference between them and us is that they have the luxury of plopping down millions for a new one every year. I hate rich people...

* Is Jose Guillen still on the waiver wire of your fantasy pool because all of your fellow poolies expected him to be suspended for 15 games early in the season? Go on, grab him up. That suspension isn't coming and the stoner community can breathe a sigh of relief.

* Remember how alot of the witty fucks predicted that the Rays would finish third in the AL East? Many of those same people predicted the Mariners would do something silly like take the Wild Card. Guess what? The Mariners can't score. That will seriously impinge upon their plans to actually win games.

-- Johnny Was