The Roundup

I quit hockey at a very early age, mostly because games conflicted with Saturday morning cartoons, but also because I never really learned how to stop without the aid of the boards. In any event, my memories of playing the sport were uniformly negative. The only game I remember vividly was one in which the opposition ran roughshod over my team of 5-year-olds. It seemed like all of the opposing players were twice as big and twice as fast as the best of our side; I don't recall getting my stick on the puck once and I'm pretty sure we lost several touchdowns to nothing.

That pretty much did in the sport for me and so bitter were my memories that I couldn't even stand to watch hockey on TV for another 15 years or so. Years later, I asked my old man (who was coaching us at the time) what the deal was there in that fateful final game and he told me a rival coach from a small town in the Sarnia area had called him to set up an exhibition game. The only problem was was that he neglected to inform us that he was coaching a team of 7-8 year-olds and was just looking for some soft opposition to build up their confidence. We got to be their punching bag. Good times! And that, in a nutshell, is the best analogy I can come up with for the Royals playing any other team in baseball. I'm somewhat sympathetic to their plight, but maybe they might get more fun out of beach volleyball or stamp collecting rather than the whole baseball thing...

Now that the Jays have swept the Royals out of town and head off on the road on a five-game winning streak, we now know that everything is awesome and only the passage of time separates them an inevitable playoff spot. But what's this? The Rays are the best team in baseball? Seriously, they're on pace for a 98-64 season if all holds up. Time to pack up the tents and go home, lads.

The Jays embark on a challenging 9-game roadtrip that takes them through Oakland (hide your valuables), Los Angeles (Anaheim, presumably one of the whiter boroughs), and the gritty Bronx before the schedule gets really soft--and stays that way--through June. All tough teams in the short term, yes, and I am shuddering at the thought of facing a very angry and still black Frank Thomas wearing Kelly Green and Gold. It's never fun going to the Bronx, but better now than after Jorge Posada comes off the DL or following some major mid-season acquisition (Adam Dunn? Ben Sheets?). Going 5-4 would be pretty swell so far as I'm concerned and I wouldn't jump off the bridge if they went 4-5. I have been on the cusp of naming the Jesus Lizard's "Elegy" the Jays' theme song for 2008 so many times, don't make me do it now...

First things first. Probables for the Oakland series are:

Tonight - Burnett-Greg Smith (LHP)
Tomorrow - Halladay- Harden
Thursday - Lost finale! (For real this time), then Litsch-Dana Eveland (LHP)

Smith and Eveland, usually the types you'd expect the home nine to slap around, both handcuffed the Jays as early season callups back in April and have kept on rolling since proving that Billy Beane's still got it. Expect to see a hearty dose of Kevin Mench, who would do well to live up to his (earned) reputation as a lefty masher. Incidentally, one of the Royals commentators asked his broadcast partner this weekend if he'd rather have one million dollars or Kevin Mench's head full of nickels. True story! Rich Harden might have one of the most "electric" arms in the game, but have the A's ever actually felt confident that he could make it through his start without some sort of major phantom injury?

Wonder Boy returns tonight. Hoo-ray?

Let's rock shit, fellas! I'm semi-enthusiastic for the first time in weeks!

-- Johnny Was

The Roundup

On a personal note, today the Missus and I celebrate two years of marriage, an institution which at times can instill as much fear as Jonathan Papelbon's splitter when you're behind 0-2, be rockier than a start from Josh Towers v.2006, and take you to euphoric Joe Carter World Series winning home run highs. I'm not trying to make any particular point, it's just an observation.

(For some inexplicable reason Dave Stewart's death stare popped to mind...)

On a final non-Jays-related note, I'd like to note my satisfaction that the NHL season is now over as temperatures finally hit double digits. That is all.

The big news today is that Rich Harden is being scratched due to some minor lat soreness. This is a pleasant turn of events for a couple of reasons. The first being that he pummelled the Bosox twice in his first two starts of the season--which is hardly a surprise seeing as he has bona fide ace stuff when healthy--and missing him this series certainly won't hurt our cause. The second is somewhat more esoteric. I like the idea of Harden (who has a $7.5 million club option for next year before hitting free agency) being solid this year, but missing a half dozen starts due to niggling injuries that'd scare off potential trade suitors.

That's right, I'd like to see him pitching here in 2009 or 2010, and it's really got little to do with the fact that he's Canadian. Well, sort of.

Even though good young Canadian talent is often overlooked by the Jays in the draft, I'd like to think that we will take a page from the Book of Schuerholz and start targeting Canadian free agent talent. It's nothing to do with nationalism (but if that puts butts in seats then so much the better) and everything to do with economics.

The Braves have long had a policy of targetting Georgia boys (and those from neighbouring regions in the Braves market) and successfully locking them up on hometown discounts. I'm all for being more like the Braves; are you saying that you're not? Who are the Georgia boys currently on the Braves 40-man?

* Brian McCann (Athens, GA)
* Chipper Jones (DeLand, FLA)
* Jeff Francoeur (Atlanta, GA)
* Tim Hudson (Columbus, GA)
* Mike Hampton (Brooksville, FLA)
* Chuck James (Atlanta, GA)
* Mark Teixeira (born in Severna Park, MD, but played his college ball at Georgia Tech)

That's a pretty sizeable chunk of talented local players for one roster. (Yes, I am aware that Mike Hampton is a giant albatross hanging around the club's neck.)

In conclusion, not targetting talented local kids who grew up cheering for your team and might be willing to parlay that into a hometown discount is just silly. Hence my interest in Rich Harden.

Back to more immediate concerns, it's looking like we'll see the following three pitching matchups:

Tonight: Burnett-Chad Gaudin (ex-Jay given to Billy Beane as an early X-mas gift in 2005)
Weds: McGowan-Greg Smith ( a very hittable AAA lefty replacing the injured Justin Duchscherer) OR Lenny DiNardo (shitty bullpen lefty)
Thurs: Marcum-Dana Eveland

Of the three A's starters, the young Eveland is the only one with a pulse. Expect the Jays to take two of three handily.

One little matter that hasn't been commented on elsewhere to my knowledge was the deliciously correct decision to slot Aaron Hill into the 2 hole in Sunday's game. Has he found his proper home, or was this a one day experiment with Eckstein taking a breather? Move Stew down in the order, Gibby. Come on.

For those of you who can tolerate his Hank Hill accent and constant overuse of "I tell you what", John Gibbons was on the Fan this morning.

Now, several clever fucks predicted that the upstart Rays would finish third in the AL East and ahead of the Jays this year, chuckling to themselves at how tart a thought that is. Let me tell you why that won't happen.

Eric Hinske has already racked up 13 ABs and has started in RF in four of the Rays six games to date. Acceptable bench player he may be, but you don't win with Hinske as a regular; I promise you that. The Rays have also chucked a bunch of ABs at black holes like Shawn Riggans (C), Willy Aybar (3B), and Jason Bartlett (SS; ok, his D more than makes up for his pitcher's bat).

If the Rays finish .500, it'll be a tremendous accomplishment. Let's not get ahead of ourselves, you witty little tossers.

-- Johnny Was

Janssen Done for '08

There's only one way to express how I feel about this unfortunate turn of events: Tabarnak ma caliss.

I was trying to be cautiously optimistic that we'd see Janssen back in the bully this year, but news arrives from the Star that Mighty Casey "will have surgery for a torn labrum in California next Tuesday or Wednesday, and is gone for the season."

JP isn't pushing the panic button, but Batter's Box says he's looking to trade for another starter. I'm both fearful and excited... If JP went big here he'd also cover his ass for AJ Burnett's departure via the old opt out. Should JP trade key prospects now, he could always recover new ones by moving AJ at the deadline, too.

If JP does want to go big, his mentor Billy Beane could offer up Joe Blanton or Rich Harden.

It's hard not to like Blanton, but he's got a lot of mileage on his 27-year-old arm. On the plus side, he's got good control and eats alot of innings. On the negative side, he didn't really have homer issues in Oakland, but he has middling K/9 IP numbers and puts a lot of balls in the air. He's only had three starts in Toronto, an absolute gem, a quality start, and a real stinker. You'd have to pay up, though, because he's under club control for three more years. Rotoworld says the Yankees are expressing interest, but Beane wants the moon and the stars. They should be alot more desperate than we are and I can't say I'd be sad to see the A's rob them blind of prospects

Rich Harden... Rotoworld confirms that he is available if healthy. At $4.5 million for this year and a club option for $7 million in '09, you're not going to get skinned dollar-wise. His injury-riddled career (13 starts over the past two years) probably drives his price down lower than Blanton's. Is he the next Roy Halladay or the next AJ Burnett (or Kerry Wood)? He's Canadian, too, but this is a baseball trade designed to improve the ball club, not a marketing decision designed to sell tickets.

I'd go with Harden.

On the FA market, there's Kyle Lohse, Jeff Weaver (god no!), and a bunch of guys you'd have to be totally hammered to sign like Bruce Chen, Ryan Drese, Casey Fossum, Zach Day and various other shit leopards.

We either cover this internally (Purcey, Romero, Parrish), go with a weak FA (Lohse), or make a major trade. We shall see...

-- Johnny Was