The Roundup

It's hard to complain after a shutout victory against the Bosox, but it would be remiss of me not to mention that we still face a very uphill battle in the weeks and months to come.

Jayson Stark throws a glass of cold numerical water in the faces of the optimists:

• The Blue Jays, Padres and Rockies won't want to hear that only 10 of 152 playoff teams since 1982 finished April more than three games under .500. And just one team since 1935 -- the 1979 Pirates -- was more than three games under after April and won the World Series.

• The Mariners and Dodgers won't want to hear that of the 126 teams that finished in first place over the last 25 full seasons, 99 of them (or 79 percent) were no worse than 2½ games out of first by the end of April.

• And the Indians, Tigers and Braves won't want to hear that in the wild-card era (1995 on), just 20 of 104 playoff teams (19 percent) were under .500 -- yep, even one game under -- at the end of April.

Yes, indeed.

May does not appear to be a "soft" month for the Jays at first glance. There is a 4-game home set with the Royals and a series against the Angels, a very good team the Jays have run roughshod over for years, but some stiffer opposition from the White Sox, Rays, Tribe, Twins, Phillies, and A's. Everyone's hoping for a nice long winning streak to square us at .500 by this time next week, but I would be surprised if we were at that point by the end of the month given the quality of the opposition we're about to face. And yes, I will high five you if if it turns out I was totally wrong.

Totally plagarizing from Cathal Kelly, here are the matchups for the upcoming weekender with the pale-hosers:

TONIGHT
vs. Chicago White Sox, 7 p.m.
RH Shaun Marcum (2-2, 3.24) vs. LH Mark Buehrle (1-2, 5.65)
TV: RSO RADIO: FAN 590

TOMORROW
vs. Chicago White Sox, 1 p.m.
RH Jesse Litsch (3-1, 4.85) vs. LH John Danks (2-2, 3.00)
TV: RSO RADIO: FAN 590

SUNDAY
vs. Chicago White Sox, 1 p.m.
RH Roy Halladay (2-4, 3.26) vs. RH Jose Contreras (2-2, 3.98)
TV: RSO RADIO: FAN 590

Your morning routine wouldn't be complete without a cup of Joe and some bat-shit craziness from Dick Griffin, but the big guy kind of lets us down with a fairly even keel piece on how we should be guardedly optimistic after last night's showing. He does go a little loopy inserting himself in the story with his final quote:

"Richard, so far May's a good month," Gibbons said before anyone could ask him a question, with a wide smile that showed he was happy to head home."

Frankly, if this is a new literary device to be incorporated into his Jays reportage, I'm fully supportive. A potential sample from tomorrow's paper:

"It was a dark and stormy night outside the Rogers Centre as I took the long slow walk into the Jays club house. I took one look at the lineup card, shook my head, then sought out the Jays skipper.

'Gibby, why in the name of Ron Leflore don't you use John McDonald as your leadoff man? He does all the little things the right way! Zut Alors!'

The Gruff Texan responded curtly, 'go fornicate yourself with a pop can, Griffin, you toothless hack. I'm fully aware that your 'front office' experience with the Expos involved little more than writing cookie cutter press releases. Now piss off!'

Jays 5-White Sox 2."

William Houston weighs in the old blogs v. mainstreamers debate in today's Globe if you're interested.

Wilner checks in on the bizarre balk call on BJ Ryan in the 9th, noting that he used the same motion for pretty much every pitch he threw in the inning. I should stop linking Wilner, really. We're redundant if you're reading The Oracle on a daily basis.

Wilner did pour cold water on a caller's suggestion that the Jays sign Raffy Furcal to play short for us in 2009. Rightly so. MLBTR figures he's in line for for 5 years at $75 million. I humbly remind you that we've suggested trading for Khalil Greene, an unhappy Padre who has alarming home-road splits (Petco is just killing the guy).

Those who were on the "bring in Barry Bonds" bandwagon will probably find a pair of lefty sluggers in Cincy, Adam Dunn and Ken Griffey II, who are available as mid-season acquisitions appealing alternatives. Unless Adam Lind fulfills the loftier expectations of guys like us.

ELSEWHERE:

* Yankees wunderbar Phil Hughes was a boo-boo on his right side and will likely be out until July. He'll be replaced in an already shaky rotation by Darrell Rasner, a Josh Towers-esque shit leopard in the making.

* We were spared any news on the Roger Clemens adultery front. Tomorrow's new rumoured paramour? Roseanne Barr?

-- Johnny Was

The Roundup

Temporary lay offs.
Good Times.
Easy credit rip offs.
Good Times.
Scratchin' and surviving.
Good Times.
Hangin in a chow line
Good Times.
Ain't we lucky we got 'em
Good Times.

The Frank-less Jays are 2-0 now, not that they look any better of a club without his hulking presence in the middle of the lineup. We've all weighed in here on the situation, so I'll be brief with some final thoughts on the matter:

1) Regardless of whether he signs on somewhere else and starts hitting like we expected, there's no prospect of him producing to the $10 million-level in 2009. We win long-term by wiping this contract off the books even if he does rebound. (Spoiler alert! Don't expect this to dawn on Richard Griffin.)

2) In saving roughly $22 million next year with the departures of Thomas and Burnett (who can probably be replaced adequately with players making the minimum, Lind and Purcey), we have some serious coin to play with in the free agent market next year. Yes, Vernon's salary is about to spike from $10 million next year to $21 million in 2010, but still. Priorities with new cash? Extending Doc? Signing Rafael Furcal?

3) As Will mentions, it's not completely outrageous to speculate that Adam Lind and Frank Thomas will finish the year with simliar lines. From his 2006 to 2007 campaigns, Thomas' home run total dropped by 13, his SLG % by 65 points. Dave Cameron at Fangraphs thinks "The first several weeks of his season don’t give us any real reason to expect Thomas to continue to struggle like this", but conceeds that his total lack of speed make it impossible for him to return to a league average BABIP. I feel that regardless of this early season slump, he's trending downward toward the .800 OPS territory that optimists can hope for out of Lind.

Fear not the future.

Over at Sons of Samhorn (the Bosox fansite), the discussion on this roster move is mostly intelligent and more than a little bit entertaining. Of note are some comments that JP has appeared on New England sports radio recently and given flat out denials that the club would even consider signing Barry Bonds. It's a fantasy than many of us, myself included, have allowed ourselves to, uh, fantasize about.

Wilner spoke to JP (audio clip) yesterday afternoon and it's pretty surprising how the boss comes out smelling roses from all the unpleasantness. I don't want to repeat myself so I'll leave it at that.

Blair thinks it was a good move and pats himself on the back for seeing it coming. He also thinks it was all about the money. I don't think anyone will disagree with that.

Griffin returns to his ususual douche-baggery, calling the Thomas contract the worst in team history. Of his top 5 worst contract list, I think 4 were the work of JP. Fucking Griffin, so predictable. I kind of do like that he tartly notes that May 25 is Frank Thomas bobblehead day, but this is the same sort of bullshit that we've all come to love from Uncle Griff.

Robinzon Diaz, a scrappy little catcher who swings at everything from his shoe laces to batting helmet (and makes contact), was called up for today's game and will soon become a local fave. Expect the dump Zaunnie movement to gather steam now that the biggest waste of space has been dealt with and a serious young contender for 2009 catching duties up on the big club.

Jays-Tigers, 12:37 getaway day game on your Rogers Preview Channel (399 down in London Town). Expect a raucus crowd with an average age of 12 or so.

ELSEWHERE:

* Off to a 10-10 start, they're starting to officially panic in the Bronx about starting pitching because Mussina is indeed looking very Josh Towersy and wunderkind Phil Hughes was been godawful. Joba to the rescue? You're gonna wreck the kid, you lunkheads.

* The Bosox clawed one back from the Rangers yesterday, trailing 5-0 late in the game. Puta madre!

-- Johnny Was