I had a mini solo road trip of sorts this morning and was looking for something appropriate for a 90 km drive on a brisk, overcast, autumnal Southwestern Ontario day and was pleased as punch when I found a dusty copy of Slint's Spiderland in an old CD bin from the later 1990s. My heart was gladdened; the day was off to an auspicious start. And then the cruel bitch goddess fate intervened as I would later discover that this treasured and near irreplaceable album from days of yore is now scratched to the point that "Good Morning Captain", the most hauntingly emotional song of one of the finest decades in the history of music, is completely unlistenable. On the off chance that anyone reading has Spiderland and would be willing to burn me a copy, well, I'd owe you an eternal debt of gratitude.
Baseball-wise, there's nothing like the pure comedic gold of the Toronto Star's senior Jays writer and mailbag answerer, Turd Ferguson. The high and low lights:
* we used to shit on JP for not being Dave Dombrowski, but now let's shit on him now for not being Rays GM Andrew Friedman; oh, and we're totally fucked on payroll in 2010 when Wells becomes a $21 million albatross and warm bodies like Scott Rolen and BJ Ryan are each costing $10 mil plus
* signing recently-released and ?injured? Orioles SP turned OF Adam Loewen just because he's Canadian is a pretty stupid idea, even for a mailbag questioner; but yeah, the Blue Jays should replace the Canadian government as the primary social services provider in this country
* Scott Richmond, Olympics rabble rabble, is a AAA grade beefcake, whereas Rickey Romero can suck JP's fat one; and, finally...
* the distinguished writer used to work for the Expos, who were God's gift to baseball in case you hadn't heard
The Sun's resident cigarette muncher, Bob Elliot, is, however, predictably enthusiastic about signing Loewen. Cito Gaston's even working the phones! Loewen would have to be paid $700g per and require a spot on the 40-man roster? He hasn't had an AB since 2006? Meh, he's Canadian, suspend logic and giterdone!
Some payroll clarity from Cathal Kelly: the Jays have $82.4 million committed to 11 players for next year and JP's saying he's counting on a $100 million payroll next year. Let see, that means... less than $17.6 million to play with? I can't fathom the stupidity of even considering allocating pretty much all of that money to AJ Burnett, but I've been on this so much you wouldn't be out of line calling me a broken record.
JP's playing coy, but let's face it: the Jays really can't afford to keep BJ Ryan and dumping Overbay on someone (like the Mariners?) would create a bit more flexibility. Call it a yard sale rather than a fire sale if you like, but some roster changes need to be made over the winter. Mark it down, Donnie.
Further confirmation that baseball is far down Jeff Blair's priority list.
PSA of the day: just got a cheque for $204.26 from the federales for my day of work as a registration officer in South Sarnia on election day. Sure, a couple of crusty old people told me to go fornicate myself when I wouldn't let them vote with just their bus pas and one of those old red and white health cards with no photo as ID, but it was a pretty easy gig on the whole. Call Elections Canada before the next one (spring? summer? fall? your guess is as good as mine) if you're interested in tapping this semi-lucrative source of income.
-- Johnny Was