Friday, June 20, 2008

The Roundup

After calling yesterday's game a Jimmy the Greek "Lock of the Week" victory for the Jays, I am clearly no match for the ESPN Supercomputer and you should disregard every prediction I make from here on out. A final note in that vein: in betting circles the logic is that you always bet with the streak rather than against it, so expect the Jays (losers of 5 straight and 13 of 17) to tank once again at PNC against the Pirates tonight. But hey, at least we get to see Jason Bay play, right?

When he's not calling out players on opposing teams and then apologizing for it, JP Ricciardi likes to do a bit of wheeler-dealer-ing. Well, The Big Man was at it again, netting us righty reliever Jonah Bayliss, 27, in a blockbuster deal with the the Buccos that is sending shockwaves throughout the league. Lah-dee-dah. Bayliss has shown little of note through his pro career and won't make it up to the big club unless JP trades his entire bullpen at the deadline.

The gruff Bob Elliot over at the Sun has seen enough of this horseshit. I admit to kind of liking Elliot's gravelly demeanour and Hemmingway-esque unwillingness to stretch a sentence beyond 10 words. He's direct, consistent, and to the point unlike those pinko college boys over at the Star. The Man, in his own words:

This season, which began with much promise, is over.

Fuck yeah, they just can't teach that shit at j-school.

After following up a 20-10 May with a 4-12 June, Elliot reckons that Godfrey and JP will be in Pittsburgh this weekend with the guillotine set to wide-necked Texan. Ok, maybe so, but firing the manager without shitcanning the GM who locked up average-ish players at pretty much every position is cosmetic and pointless. A clean sweep in November is what we need and Godfrey too should be committing seppuku for his role in this debacle.

The Oracle is the foremost authority on the Jays in the paid media, fullstop, period, no debate. He implies that the odds of Gibbons getting fired this weekend are about even, but hopes that the team has hit "rock bottom" once again (last time was in Cleveland) and will get back up on its feet and stay there. I appreciate his enthusiasm, but I do not share it.

MLBastian, the self-censoring official MLB version of Wilner, takes his criticism of JP's recent conduct about as far as his corporate overlords will permit. You really have to fuck up badly to get one of these guys on your back.

The peerless Jon Hale at the Mockingbird rightfully frets over whether AJ Burnett will be classed as a type A free agent at the end of the year because if he's not the Jays end up losing a draft pick when he opts out. Early indications are that the 2009 draft class is a weak one and if that's the case I'm going to tentatively suggest that we'd be better off trading AJ soon for a known-ish commodity rather than accepting just one late first round pick as FA compensation. None of us was overly chuffed with David Cooper at 17 this year and I'd be disappointed with another selection in the same vein next year.

Also don't forget that relations between Hangin' Tough and club brass could very well turn nasty if the downward spiral continues. AJ was sent home for the final week of the 2005 season after calling out Marlins management and with the door about to hit him on the ass on the way out of Toronto, don't be too shocked if there's a repeat here.

And then Sal Fasano re-emerges, this time with the Indians.

The subliminal messages in these Canadian Forces commercials are really doing the trick. Anyone feel like doing a tour in Afghanistan with me?

ELSEWHERE:

* Most overrated player in baseball as voted by the players? Derek Jeter. And did you know that he says "ain't" deliberately? Learn more about "ain't" at your local library.

* Curt Schilling is done for the year and probably for his career. So long, fucker.

-- Johnny Was

2 comments:

Jay K. said...

C'mon, why do you hate schill so much. Can't you just realize that he is a chubby guy who says objectionable things all the time? Don't you know one of those dudes who lives in Vancouver?

eyebleaf said...

gibby, denbo, whitt and pevey all gone..CITO IS BACK, BABY!!!!