Fantasy Baseball Week 5

The Toucans have gone from bad to worse. Last week we were in 10th place, and some 10 games out of first. Now....well....you can see for yourselves:

Rank		Team	W-L-T	Pct	GB	Last Week	Waiver	Moves
1.		Base Belong to Rios	39-17-4	.683	-	7-3-2	8	4
2.		Bluebird Banter	35-23-2	.600	5	9-3-0	10	17
3.		The Huck Fleners	30-23-7	.558	7.5	6-4-2	14	14
4.		Satan's RH Man	30-24-6	.550	8	7-5-0	11	6
5.		ShaveThoseSideburns	28-23-9	.542	8.5	8-4-0	9	3
6.		The_Reverend	29-27-4	.517	10	5-7-0	2	2
7.		Mockingbird	29-28-3	.508	10.5	5-6-1	3	9
8.		Mop Up Duty	27-27-6	.500	11	4-6-2	7	6
9.		Mulliniks' Staches	28-31-1	.475	12.5	3-9-0	12	7
10.		I'm On My Couch	26-30-4	.467	13	8-4-0	1	11
11.		Toucans Of Whoopass	24-31-5	.442	14.5	4-8-0	5	31
12.		Born to Ghostrun	23-32-5	.425	15.5	6-5-1	4	8
13.		Tao of Stieb	20-34-6	.383	18	3-7-2	13	10
14.		Swayze4Life	20-38-2	.350	20	4-8-0	6	9

Once again, streaming saved the Toucans from being a total embarrassment, as we won 4 out of the 6 pitching categories. Last week I mentioned it was a bad idea to start pitchers when you're winning ERA & WHIP - and yet this week I had the same situation occur for me and had to start a pitcher. Why? Because I'm On My Couch started 3-4 guys on the last day, which meant I would have potentially lost another 2-3 categories by not starting a pitcher. Specifically wins and quality starts. Luckily I grabbed Aaron Cook at the last minute and he gave me the edge in Quality Starts. So sometimes you gotta change the plans depending on the situation.

This'll probably sound a bit familiar to you guys. My pitching had an ERA of 1.74, and a WHIP of 1.13 for the week. But my offense? They couldn't hit a Josh Towers fastball (and I'm talking an 08 Josh Towers fastball, not an 05 career year Josh Towers fastball). Collectively the Toucans posted an OBP of 368 and a slugging of 382. So it pretty much goes without saying that we got swept in every offensive category, losing the week 4-8-0.

I picked up Brad Hawpe & Jack Cust to provide some extra power to the lineup. As a result Beltran is becoming the odd man out for a little bit, but he's been one of the guys just killing us so far. Cust is starting to heat up and I'm hoping he can carry the Toucans for a while.

On the pitching side, I've added Zach Duke as my first streaming pitcher of the week. Yes, I know he's a Pirate pitcher (and not that Snell dude either!), but he is facing the Giants. So even if Dukes has control issues, odds are the Giants will swing and miss at the ball bouncing in the dirt.

This week the Toucans Of Whoopass will try to avoid embarrassing themselves as they face off against Satan's RH Man, managed by none other than Mr. Parkes of DJF. It will take a holy miracle to stop this diabolical monster, so let's just hope that the Toucans are up for the task.

You know what - until the Toucans Of Whoopass have redeemed themselves and proven they're an elite team, they don't deserve to be called the Toucans Of Whoopass. From this moment on, they will be known as....

Toucans Of Failure!

Quick Jays Update

Brandon League has now thrown in 2 games since Apr 21, although both of them were for 3 and 3 1/3 innings respectively. He's only walked one guy in his last 6.1 innings, struck out 8, and allowed 2 R (both earned). His groundball:flyball ratio is an incredible 6.67.

While I have a problem with the fact they sent him down to give him regular work (and he's not getting that playing time, in my opinion), he seems to have found his control if his last 2 appearances are any indication of how he's doing. I wouldn't want to mess with the pen and how they're doing now, but he should remain a pretty good option should anything happen to the current members of the pen.

While I'm mentioning the bullpen, I should add that I really think that Wolfe should be in AAA. I've never been impressed with him, and I don't think he deserves a spot at this point. I would like to see another RHP brought in if possible, but that would most likely mean Tallet would need to be traded as Johnny suggested.

I've been saying for a while now that Kevin Mench should replace Shannon Stewart as the primary DH against LHP. While Mench has struggled in AAA with a 740 OPS, he does have a 1.080 OPS against lefties in 28 at bats. His slash line of 357/438/643 is pretty damn good, and I think there's a chance he could at least hit the ball into the OF, something Stewart can't do at this point without a helping hand from a strong wind.

Some would point to Stew's 867 OPS vs lefties as a sign that he's doing a good job, but I want to point out that his OPS is based primarily on the strength of a 350 BA. The OBP is 417, which is good, but not great for a guy with the platoon advantage. And his slugging of 450 shows that he isn't getting many extra base hits, and that he's just been getting by with singles against lefties. Yes, it's a small sample size of 20 AB, but Mench has always been a better lefty-slugger in his career.

If the Jays want their DH to be a singles hitter, they should have stuck with Thomas. But if it's power that they want, Mench is the guy they need to be buying low on right now. And let's get real here, JP would be trading with Jon Daniels, pretty much the worst GM in the AL outside of Bravasi. It probably wouldn't take much more than Chad Motolla to get Mench.

Twitchy.

Fantasy Baseball Week 4

The Toucans have been struggling lately, but there's no reason to complain about how we did in week 4. We faced a tough opponent in ShaveThoseSideburns, and the final score was 5-6-1. That doesn't show how dominant Sideburns was during the week, as they held a 3-8-1 lead heading into Sunday.

Honestly though, I'm not too disappointed, as the Toucans collectively hit 358/518 (OBP/Slug) for the week which is pretty impressive. I had 8 HR, which generally should win you a ton of offensive categories. Unfortunately Sideburns just had probably the best week of the season, collectively hitting 435/578 (OBP/slug) with 10 HR. That's pretty damn good, and you just gotta tip your hat to him for having a good week.

My streaming strategy is what saved the week for us. The Toucans dominated in counting stats like wins, strikeouts and quality starts, while Jon Rauch managed to tie up saves at the last possible minute. If Sideburns made one mistake, it was starting his pitchers when he had a clear edge in the rate stats - ERA & WHIP. He couldn't catch us in the counting stats, so a smart idea would have been to bench his starters and take his wins in ERA/WHIP. He started a couple pitchers, and this was the result. He had both Livan & Nathan, so it wasn't a great night for him. He did get a nice Josh Beckett start, which probably saved the day.

The reason this cost him though, was because I ended up taking WHIP by .02, and I almost won ERA. Otherwise he's up 7-4-1 on the week. Let that be a lesson to all you head2head players - when you have an edge in rate stats heading into the last day, don't start your pitchers! It'll do more harm than good.

Going forward, the Toucans look pretty strong. Longoria has been a terrific pick for us, and Votto continues to rake. Glaus is starting to heat up and we all know what he can do on his prolonged hot streaks. Utley is the hottest player in baseball right now, while Posada & Drew (SS) give us a terrific IF. Beltran, Swisher, Dunn & Corey Hart really need to pick it up though, or the Toucans will remain in the bottom half. Right now the Toucans are 10th out of 14th, but one good week and we're back in the top 6.

This week the Toucans will battle against I'm On My Couch. The couch-potatoes are currently behind the Toucans at 11th, and the psychological battle has already begun. My first barrage consisted of "Hey Couch-Potatoes - better get some comfort food for when I open the can of whoopass". I know he'll be devastated.

Well, that's all for Week 4 of fantasy baseball. But do you think you're capable of psyching out those crazy Couches? Support your local Toucans of Whoopass by posting what you would say to psych out I'm On My Couch. If it's crazy, dirty, and underhanded, all the better! The Toucans need your help more now than ever, Heroes!

Update: I think it'd make more sense if I put the standings for everyone to see..

Rank		Team	W-L-T	Pct	GB	Last Week	Waiver	Moves
1.		Base Belong to Rios	32-14-2	.688	-	7-4-1	9	4
2.		Bluebird Banter	26-20-2	.563	6	10-1-1	11	16
3.		The Huck Fleners	24-19-5	.552	6.5	5-6-1	5	13
4.		I'm In Your Mind	23-19-6	.542	7	7-5-0	12	5
5.		The_Reverend	24-20-4	.542	7	4-7-1	2	2
6.		Mulliniks' Staches	25-22-1	.531	7.5	2-10-0	13	5
7.		Mockingbird	24-22-2	.521	8	10-2-0	3	9
8.		Mop Up Duty	23-21-4	.521	8	8-3-1	8	4
9.		ShaveThoseSideburns	20-19-9	.510	8.5	6-5-1	10	3
10.		Toucans Of Whoopass	20-23-5	.469	10.5	5-6-1	6	25
11.		I'm On My Couch	18-26-4	.417	13	5-7-0	1	5
12.		Born to Ghostrun	17-27-4	.396	14	3-8-1	4	6
13.		Tao of Stieb	17-27-4	.396	14	1-10-1	14	9
14.		Swayze4Life	16-30-2	.354	16	6-5-1	7	7

Twitchy.

Fantasy Baseball Week 3

The Toucans Of Whoopass were defeated in a landslide last week. The epic beatdown was issued by The Huck Fleners, and the score for the week was a horrific 8-2-2 in favour of Huck. The Toucans didn't hit, and they didn't pitch, which sounds a hell of a lot like the Jays.

The knockout punch was delievered by Todd Wellemeyer. We have a moves limit (which I hate, by the way), restricting assholes like me from streaming position players and starters every day. Anyways, I picked him up, but then dropped him upon learning Jon Rauch would be closing. We lost Rafael Soriano to injury, so I panicked and grabbed Rauch, while dropping Todd. Huck, in his infinite wisdom, picked him up. As fate would have it, Matt Cain would face off against Wellemeyer. And then this happened...

Troy Glaus is stinking up the joint, so I grabbed Votto who's on fire to be the utility guy. He's probably going to start now that he's shown Dusty that he refuses to clog the bases (1 BB, 50 AB). So I figure if he's got a spot in the lineup, and he's convinced Baker he won't clog the bases, he'll probably get a spot in the middle of the lineup. Atta boy Votto - fool him into thinking you're not going to clog the bases to get your job back, and then get back to your patient ways.

For Week 4, the Toucans face off against ShaveThoseSideburns. The Toucans fell to 8th after that bitchslap by Huck, so winning this week will put us back in the top 6.

Last night's Jays game...

I don't hate Gibbons - I'll joke about firing him every now and then, but he's not as bad as most fans think. But yesterday he had some pretty weird decisions, as noted earlier by Johnny.

Look, I get it - Wells needs an occasional day off. But having just released a guy who was your fulltime DH, would it not have made a ton of sense to just DH Wells? Doing that makes the lineup a hell of a lot deeper, and prevents one of the super-scrubs from hitting in his place. An OF of Stewart - Rios - Stairs is significantly better in every possible way then a Stew-Rios-Inglett OF.

But then in the 6th, as Johnny mentions, he brings Marcum out after throwing damn near 100 pitches. And he goes to Tallet for an inning and a third. Tallet, the guy who's pitched a shitload of innings to this point, and can be relied upon in key situations...you brought in him against RH hitters, when you're down by 4? Isn't that what Frasor was for?

I thought it'd make just a tiny little bit more sense to use Frasor for two, and then bring in Camp or something. Save Tallet for when we can actually win a game.

DH Ideas

Johnny brought up some other names of potentially useful players who could be used to boost the offense now that Thomas is gone. A name I'd like to throw out there is Kevin Mench. Texas signed him to a MLC - assuming he can still hit LHP like he always could, I think it'd be a terrific idea to send them a pen arm or something for Mench. As recently as last year, he posted a 901 OPS against LHP, and for his career he's got a 924 OPS vs LHP. A Stairs/Mench platoon, a Lind/Mench platoon, or even an Overbay/Mench platoon would be a huge upgrade for this team against LHP. And considering he's on a MLC, it's not like we'd have to throw a good pen arm their way.

Twitchy.

Bloggers fantasy baseball Week 2

Another week's passed by, and another victory for the Toucans. The Toucans had a decisive victory against Born To Ghostrun, winning 7-3-2.

Funny enough, the strategy to stream, and specifically stream pitchers facing Giants paid huge dividends. I got 2 QS, 7 K, an ERA under 3, and a WHIP under 1, which was extremely key in winning the matchup. Tip of the hat to Brian Sabean for making the Giants a bigger joke than Peter Angelos and The O's, not an easy task to do! With the key victory, the Toucans Of Whoopass have made their way up to third place, 4.5 back of Base Belong To Rios. I'll get you get next time, Gadget!

Key reliever Rafael Soriano went on the d/l, so I grabbed Peter Moylan (and you should too) as he'll be getting most of the saves for the Braves in the meantime.

While I was questioned for drafting Longoria in the 11th round (147th overall pick), it looks like it may pay off. Longoria was called up a couple of days ago, and he's already scored once and driven in a run while posting an 833 OPS.

This week the Toucans face off against The Huck Fleners, a team that has built itself around youth and potential. I've already streamed Jose Lopez to grab some extra at bats (hey, before you judge, check his stats...) since few teams play, and every at bat counts. For tomorrow I grabbed personal favourite Hong-Chih Kuo, a lefty for the Dodgers who has taken over the fifth spot over Esteban Loaiza. Kuo has a ridiculous strikeout rate, but it's always been health and control that's held him back.

Twitchy.

Your very own fantasy team!

As Johnny mentioned earlier in the month, we've been challenged by several other bloggers to see who's truly the greatest at...fantasy baseball!

So with that in mind, yours truly has just finished 86 grueling, drunken hours of drafting. So as team captain of The Southpaw's official team, Toucans Of Whoopass, I've decided that I'll be giving weekly updates on the team once the season starts! Keep in mind that this league does have OBP, and not BA as a stat.

I won't start giving weekly updates till the season starts. For now, just savour in knowing that these are the heroes representing the Toucans Of Whoopass.

Hitting

C - Jorge Posada
1B - Nick Swisher
2B - Chase Utley
SS - Stephen Drew
3B - Evan Longoria (I did take Troy Glaus in case Longoria doesn't start in the majors)
LF - Adam Dunn (we're using LF, CF, RF, not the traditional OF OF OF, so this is a big advantage, and it being an OBP and not a BA league Dunn has significantly more value)
CF - Beltran
RF - Corey Hart
Utility - Joey Votto
Bench - Glaus...but as I said he'll start if Longoria is in AAA to start the season.

Pitching

SP Justin Verlander
SP Matt Cain
SP Homer Bailey
RP Rafael Soriano
RP Joakim Soria
P Jason Isringhausen
P Scott Shields
P Ervin Santana
Bench - Jason Schmidt

I figure that we have huge advantages at 2B, C, LF & RF. Utley's in a league of his own, Dunn is an elite LF (especially in an OBP/HR/R/RBI/Slugging...he'll gimme 5/6, with the sixth being SB), Posada even if he reverts to his career norms is still an above average slugging and OBP catcher, and Corey Hart is a steal - his line of 295/353/539 was nearly identical to Soriano's 299/337/560 line last year. Swisher has a great shot at 30-40 HR playing in US Cellular. Votto, Drew & Longoria are all pretty young kids who could be bargains as the season goes on. Glaus is my insurance policy - I figure he'll be on fire till June and get injured just in time for Longoria to be called up.

As for pitching, we got a bunch of high K guys. That's all you can really ask for in fantasy baseball...

The only thing that disappoints me is I didn't pick a Blue Jay, in a Blue Jay blog fantasy league. Hopefully the Jays kickass this year and make me regret not picking up Rolen instead of Glaus.

Twitchy.