Morning Roundup

SPIKE LEE: "Would you like to subscribe to my newsletter on the White Man's Evils?"

ECKSTEIN: "I feel asleep during Inside Man."

In one for the history books, the Yankees apparently threw a perfect game against the Jays yesterday that was called early on account of a lack of players. Not liking the weather, players and fans alike gave up the ghost on this one around the fifth inning. Just keep that in mind before you put too much stock in spring numbers, sports fans.

JP will not go about saying this player has that role locked up, it's just alien to his DNA. When asked the seemingly innocuous question of whether Accardo fills the set-up role for us when BJ's healthy, Gibby said yes and JP said "woah woah woah." That's fine by me, not letting anyone get complacent seems like a pretty good idea. To think that resident leper Jason Frasor is going to take high leverage innings away from Accardo strains belief, but do what you have to do. Blair also reiterates that money is top of the list when it comes to bench construction, which means Stewart should have a definite edge over Sparky when it comes to our little LF duel.

Wilner seems to think Gibby could slot Rios in as our number two in the lineup.

The Yankees are an old creaky bunch that played bad baseball for about 3/4 of last season before going on a Zeus Hercules end run to clinch the Wild Card. Just how vulnerable are they this year? If you've got a very short attention span, Ken Fidlin answers that question for you in about 400 words. I'll have a look at some numbers and revisit this over the next few days.

ELSEWHERE:

Add Jonathan Paplebon to the list of rising stars disgrunted by their pre-arbitration salaries. Guys, you get millions for signing your first contract, before even playing a single pro game, and you'll become millionaires when you hit your arbitration years. The bigger question for Hamels, Fielder and Paps is whether their first free agent contracts will have eight or nine digits. As a thousandaire, I think I know a bit about money.

Are the O's going to trade Brian Roberts or what? They're apparently weighing a package from the Cubs that would likely include a shortstop who can't hit and a pitcher who can't throw strikes. Ok, ok, I'm being a bit facetious. If you're going to blow a team up, you might as well blow the whole damn thing up and trade everything you've got that isn't part of the future.

It might have been funny when David Spade did it in Black Sheep, but this is just discomforting. I mean, it's a plausible excuse, right? How many times have you got out of the shower in your hotel room, had your towel fall off, tripped, and landed completely naked in front of the window over-looking the pool with your dick in your hand?

-- Johnny Was